Settling back into School – Tips on how to Support your Child

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The first few days of school are an exciting time for many children. A new school year brings many new opportunities, from building a rapport with teachers and making new friendships to the challenges of academic learning.

For children with additional learning, emotional, or behavioural needs, going back to school can present some challenges.

This is because a new school year involves transitions and a lot of changes to their routine. School, like life, demands flexibility; however, for children with SEND, coping with lots of changes can result in meltdowns at home.

Reasons why SEND children may find it difficult starting a new school year

• Sensory processing issues – they may become overwhelmed with sensory differences such as wearing a school uniform, different smells, or bright lights.

• Reading social cues – children with ASD might misread social cues and say things that are considered “inappropriate.”

• Struggles to make new friends – some children find it hard to wait their turn and are naturally impulsive. Their peers may exclude them at breaktime, which leads to a feeling of social isolation.

• Unstructured times such as breaktime can feel daunting.

• Difficulties managing unexpected changes during the school day – for example, a cover teacher or changes to the timetable without prior warning.

• Difficulties articulating worries and managing emotions.

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New beginnings can be challenging

New beginnings are stimulating but can also be challenging for any child. There may also be transitions at home which impact a child’s ability to engage at school.

It’s important to remember that any child, with or without an identified SEND, may feel anxiety about returning to school.

The following life stressors can also impact children:

• Family illness or bereavement

• Moving house

• Divorce

• Unemployment

• Family conflict

• Drugs or alcohol in the home

Put your oxygen mask on first!

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Why is it important to put on your ‘own oxygen mask first?’

If you are the parent of a child with SEND, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of your child’s emotions and forget to check in with yourself.

Let’s unpack that well known self-care metaphor. The idea is if you can take in oxygen yourself first, before helping others you will be more effective as a parent.

Here are some tips to support you to stay calm and self-regulated, to help you tap into your emotional strengths and thinking capacities:

• Breathe - breathing helps lower stress hormones in the body and increase happy hormones such as oxytocin. 

• Self-compassion - when you think kind thoughts as opposed to critical thoughts, you are helping your parasympathetic nervous system to activate to calm the body down. Our parasympathetic nervous system comes online to restore and heal. When we are in moments of  ‘rest and digest,’ you allow your parasympathetic nervous systems to activate.

• Movement - cycling, walking, or jogging all increase oxygen flow through the cells in our body, which helps to improve mood and general health

• Reflective activity - doing an activity that makes you feel calm, such as listening to music or painting

You are resilient!

When you stop to think about it, you will have overcome challenges before with your child.

Reflecting on past successes can encourage your child to build confidence in asking for help and problem-solving. It also helps show your child that life goes on beyond their worries.

Studies show that visualising things going well connects thoughts, actions, and intentions. It’s a form of mental rehearsal that makes success feel more tangible.

Arrange to speak to your child’s Teacher and SENCO

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Remember, you can ask what support is available at your child’s school. All schools will have processes to support children with SEND.

• Check your child’s timetable to help them get used to new routines.

• Build a good rapport with your child’s teacher – this isn’t about being a ‘helicopter parent,’ but keeping open communication.

• Ask if there’s a support worker or safe person your child can go to during break times.

• Find out if the school has a buddy system to help during the first few days.

Create a document that describes your child’s needs

Your child may have an EHCP Plan which will clearly describe your child’s needs and their learning profile.

Many children do not have an EHCP Plan, as they do not meet the threshold. Other families are waiting to be assessed for an EHCP Plan.

Sharing a document that you have written that clearly describes who your child is, and what they like and don’t like can be really helpful for school staff. It could include any sensitivities that they may have.

This document will help your child’s teacher to get to know them more quickly. It will also help your teacher plan appropriately with your child in mind.

What your child’s new school should do

It is worth knowing the following and making sure your school follows this guidance.

• Complete their own assessment of your child’s learning levels (in addition to existing information).

• Carry out ongoing observations and assessments of progress.

• Work in collaboration with you to monitor your child’s learning journey.

The first few days and weeks of school

Chat to your child and see if you can find a way to explore how they feel about school. Try to ask open-ended questions, such as ”tell me how you are feeling,” as opposed to closed questions such as “are you feeling excited?” Closed questions tend to invite a simple yes or no answer and so don’t open up a conversation.

For some children it is hard to name how they feel. In this instance you can notice how they are behaving as behaviour is often a clue to how they feel. You could say, “I can see you just kicked the chair, and you threw your coat on the floor. It seems like you are saying you had a tough day.”

If your child has separation anxiety you could find books in your local library or online, offering support around anxiety. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst is helpful for young children with separation anxiety.

At the end of the school day

When you pick your child up from school, let them know that you are really happy to see them and you are excited to hear about their day.

Many younger children need to run around and off load their day in a physical way, such as going to the park. They might not be able to use words very effectively to share how their day went. You could notice how they are and try to imagine how they might be feeling. Even if you get it wrong, you are showing that you are noticing them and tuning in to their state.

Final thoughts…

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Remember, everyone has some degree of back to school nerves. It’s normal and to be expected.

Contact our team at Bright Teach if you are looking for some additional support. We are here in the office if you want to reach out for a chat. We offer bespoke one-to-one tutoring for additional learning support.

Call us today to see how we could best support your child!

📞 Tel: 01273 033 243
📧 Email: info@brightteach.com